So the main thing is I saw Ryan live, not for long but still I finally saw him for the first time which made something explode in my head going "The next time I'll follow that dude round Europe no matter what!" but first a short recap of how this "first time" went down.

After not being sure how and if I had money to go I was kind of ok I am not going until Michi (thx by the way for making me go) said come on this is your favourite artist since like ever you gotta see him live. And I was like hell yeah let's do that.

So we instantly packed our bags and headed towards Munich at like 3 in the afternoon. So Munich is a 4 hour drive normally but due to the fact that some kind of fucking bride was nearly breaking down and traffic was stopped we found ourselves stuck on the highway for hours. Finally we got a way towards Munich, exploring parts of Austria that we normally would not have seen which can be seen as a bad or good thing. Concerning yesterday it was more bad than good cuz we could not make it in time.

As we finally made it to Munich, the city of the white sausage we found ourselves yet again confronted with a challenge. This time the concert venue was no to be found by us Austrians on expedition in Germany. After asking numberous people that all seemed to more or less have a plan where the "Muffathalle" was but then on the other side did not really could nail any detailed explaination on where to go we finally mad it and the good thing was we even got to see some Ryan Adams live. Which was for me something that kept me going in my head, thinkingwise, I mean. I just can not believe that we actually mad it. That could also be the result of me being over tiered from a 5 hour + drive, i guess.

So the show was in my eyes amazing, at least the stuff we saw was like that. No encore but whatever...I saw Ryan perform live.

Today, the day after I kinda feel like shit which could be either due to the fact that I drove all the night back or because I cought a small cold from the open car window.

It does no matter though cuz I saw Ryan Adams perform!

So i was having this really huge big Mark Kozelek/Red House Painters/Sun Kill Moon phase that i was going through...and at some point i thought yay it is over.

I mean you never listen just to one artist all the time that is right but there are phases were one artist is just the big thing and all your other favourites kind of go unnoticed for sometime.

Well this time i thought that big Mark Kozelek phase is by but it is not. I mean not that i am miserable or so but i just enjoy these detailed musical combinations of happiness and suffering so much at the moment and i can not even explain why because as i said i am not miserable or sad, well everyone shoul have a surtain level of being sad so that they can appreciate the joyful things in life more while always having the worse times in your head. Not always thinking bout them but just keeping in mind that you could have it so much worse.

As for the phase i am having right now, i gotta say i do not feel that it effects my everyday life a lot but ppl keep telling me that i am more in a sad mood when i listen to Kozelek/RHP/Sun Kill Moon constantly, which i do not believe or should i believe it? I am really not sure anymore if i am really sad on a constant basis or if other ppl just wanna see me like that.

Yes people and fellow students or wanna be students or whatever you are.

The university time starts officially today and i could not care less. Not because of the university itself or because of exams. No that is not my concern. My concern are the people man!!! Those wannabe rich guys and snobs that act like they have acomplished something. Open your eyes it is Austria and even worse you are studying in Klagenfurt. No one gives a shit if you are rich or not...buhuuuuu mum and dad pay all your bills and you manage to study on the side, oh yeah great stuff that you do.

So now that i vented that off it is time to focus again and say welcome to the new semester, welcome to more uni fun but by no means welcome to those fools that think they are something while they actually are small brained wanna be students with an ego that has to be 300 times as larg as their minimal brains.

Cheerio to the semestero...

I am sick...that sucks, big time...

I am sorry guys, all of you that I was supposed to call, meet or hang out with but i am more or less just hanging around at home hoping and wishing that i am getting better soon. I got some kind of flu i guess and i am hoping that it will be over soon...

you all take care n if you get some time drope me a line or give me a call...

So if anyone talks to me in the next days and nothing good comes out of my mouth do not worry it is just the constant Red House Painters (+ of course all other Mark Kozelek related records like Sun Kil Moon or solo stuff...) listening finally getting inside my head and making me crazy...

it will go away someday i guess...but no fixed date...just the fucked up music of the moment that suits my life best right now.

And as I try to pull away,
my words begin to decay,
and I realize I am more sore,
than I have ever been before

the lines I said they fade
and sealed so is my fate
my only pleasure lies within
within the words I am keeping in

my sorrow may be to fast
but how do you father expect me to rest
with so much to think about and so less to say
please give me time and stay...

*dedicated to my father...*

A quick reminder people...getting old can be useful too. Getting old = having your own stuff.

Example A:

I wanna order some shit over the internet, who i have to run to? Right, Daddy Daddy please can i use your credit card becaus i do not fucking have one...no fixed income, no credit card


Example B:

My car breaks down. What can i do if the sum that i have to pay is larg and i do not wanna have my bank account in too much dept...right here we go again Daddy Daddy...fuck

I could go on and on but i just had to get some steam off...

arg dependence is a bitch...a giant bitch by the way!!!

1. I wanna learn how to play the guitar
2. I really wanna learn how to play the guitar awesome!
3. I want people to stop telling me that I can not play guitar
4. I want to go back to the sea and dig a hole...again
5. I want to burn out and not fade away...that is always better

Two roads split off from here,
and my life goes running in opposite directions.
Exaggerating the barrier between who I am,
and who I want to be.

I wanted to be the breath of fresh air,
When everything smelled so insincere.
But this taste still lingers in my mouth,
Deceit has ways of sticking around.
And I'm ready to disappear,
Vacation seems far... seems far from here.

Note to self:
I miss you terribly.
This is what
we call a tragedy.
Come back to me,
back to me,
To me.

I can feel my mind,
wandering again.
Into what I dont know,
and will I ever get home?
Time starts moving,
faster than I can.
And I'm sick of this scene,
I need to break the routine.

Two roads...
Split off from here,
and my life goes running in opposite directions.
Exaggerating the barrier between who I am,
and who I want to...

Which part of me is lost?
I feel so close,
and yet I am so far.
Which part of me is lost?
I feel so close,
and yet I am so far...