03-17-2006 Personal letter from Aaron
As a lot of you may know the first song on our first record is called “This Is How It Goes”. This is a song about one of Ben’s friends that has multiple sclerosis. Today I would like to let you know that I am that friend with MS.
I want to start with saying that this changes nothing about my band or me. I’m actually stronger both mentally and physically than I’ve ever been in my life.
Right now you’re probably thinking, “What is MS?” To sum it up in a short paragraph it’s a chronic, often disabling disease of the central nervous system. Symptoms range from numbness in the limbs to paralysis or loss of vision. The progress, severity, and specific symptoms of MS in any one person cannot yet be predicted. It generally strikes people between the ages of 20 to 50 but over the past 5 years its been hitting a much younger age. Children as young as three years old are being diagnosed. This is my main reason for telling my story.
It was November of 1997 and I had just started a new job at DaimlerChrysler building the new Intrepid, Concorde and 300M. I was making more money then my job at the Toronto Auto Auction and I could take off more time to play shows with my band Pezz. Days after starting my new job I got a strange numbness in my legs. I couldn’t walk for more than five minutes without having to sit down because of this pain in my legs. I honestly thought it was just because this job was a lot more physically demanding then my last job. After telling my family and close friends about it I went for some tests.
“It’s probably a pinched nerve”, or “You probably pulled something at your new job” were some of the responses I would get. After months of tests I was told that I had probable MS. This meant I probably had MS but a full diagnosis couldn’t be made until I had another symptom within two years.
In November of 1998 the numbness in my legs was gone but I could make it come back by bending my neck forward. This would also send a feeling of an electrical shock to my feet. Just a couple months later in January of 1999 I suddenly got an awful pain in my left eye. It was like being punched in the eye by a ghost and the ghost had done some serious damage. I instantly started to squint my eye shut and went straight to my eye doctor. He told me I had Optic Neuritis. When I told this to my neurologist I found out that it’s very common for people with MS and the disease was progressing. He wanted me to start a new type of medicine. I had to self inject myself three times a week in the arm, thigh, stomach or butt.
“How long do I have to do this for?” was my first question?
“If it works for you, indefinitely.” He said.
“Does indefinitely mean forever?” I asked with a worried look on my face.
“Yes” he said with a smile that said sorry.
“You said if it works for you, does that mean it might not work?” I said.
“We don’t know that yet”.
I practically ran out of the doctor’s office and into the stairwell with my girlfriend close behind me. We cried in the stairwell for a while and then went right over to my parent’s house. I’d just like to say that through all of this madness I was so lucky to have my girlfriend who is now my wife and the mother of our amazing daughter beside me through it all.
The next day we both went over to Ian’s because I had band practice and I told Jon, Ben and Ian what was happening. I needed some time off from the band to deal with what was going on.
Coming to terms with the fact that I had to start giving myself needles forever was really hard. A couple of the side effects really hit me once I started the medication. I fell into a deep depression and started seeing a psychiatrist. I really felt like my life was falling apart. I had always wanted to be a drummer in a rock band but was told I should “take it easy”. I remember saying “ya right” in my head. None of my dreams had come true and I now had an incurable disease.
It was really rough for the first year and a half but the new medicine I was taking really started to work. The MS Society of Canada really helped me get all the information and tools to get my life back on track. My symptoms were gone and when they did come back they were just minor set backs. Going to work, going to rehearsal, playing shows with the band and going to countless doctors appointments was my reality.
We changed the name of the band from Pezz to Billy Talent and continued writing music. We released a four song EP and got a record deal. Unbelievable. None of us really knew what to expect in the coming months. I quit my job and started playing drums full time.
After recording our first record it was time to go on tour. My medicine needed to be refrigerated and I was about to spend a big chunk of my life driving around in a van with six grown men. I can’t believe I never had to explain why I had a mini fridge filled with needles to the authorities. We spent about 12 months driving all over North America and Europe staying in crappy motels. We would take turns sleeping on the floor of the van while the others drove to the next town. It was amazing. Our first record took us across Canada five times, America four times, Germany five times, the UK four times and a weekend in Japan. I’ve also met a lot of my musical heroes and even become friends with a couple of them. Crazy.
I guess the reason I’m telling you this is because I didn’t let something like MS get in the way of me becoming who I was suppose to become. I suppose the reason I kept it a secret for so long is because I thought it could get in the way or even help me achieve some of my goals out of pity. That’s the last thing I wanted.
Please share this story with anyone you think it would help. There are a lot of people young and old that are fighting some sort of disease and thinking that they can’t win. You really can win if you believe in yourself.
Aaron
www.mssociety.ca
www.billytalent.com
www.myspace.com/billytalent
I want to start with saying that this changes nothing about my band or me. I’m actually stronger both mentally and physically than I’ve ever been in my life.
Right now you’re probably thinking, “What is MS?” To sum it up in a short paragraph it’s a chronic, often disabling disease of the central nervous system. Symptoms range from numbness in the limbs to paralysis or loss of vision. The progress, severity, and specific symptoms of MS in any one person cannot yet be predicted. It generally strikes people between the ages of 20 to 50 but over the past 5 years its been hitting a much younger age. Children as young as three years old are being diagnosed. This is my main reason for telling my story.
It was November of 1997 and I had just started a new job at DaimlerChrysler building the new Intrepid, Concorde and 300M. I was making more money then my job at the Toronto Auto Auction and I could take off more time to play shows with my band Pezz. Days after starting my new job I got a strange numbness in my legs. I couldn’t walk for more than five minutes without having to sit down because of this pain in my legs. I honestly thought it was just because this job was a lot more physically demanding then my last job. After telling my family and close friends about it I went for some tests.
“It’s probably a pinched nerve”, or “You probably pulled something at your new job” were some of the responses I would get. After months of tests I was told that I had probable MS. This meant I probably had MS but a full diagnosis couldn’t be made until I had another symptom within two years.
In November of 1998 the numbness in my legs was gone but I could make it come back by bending my neck forward. This would also send a feeling of an electrical shock to my feet. Just a couple months later in January of 1999 I suddenly got an awful pain in my left eye. It was like being punched in the eye by a ghost and the ghost had done some serious damage. I instantly started to squint my eye shut and went straight to my eye doctor. He told me I had Optic Neuritis. When I told this to my neurologist I found out that it’s very common for people with MS and the disease was progressing. He wanted me to start a new type of medicine. I had to self inject myself three times a week in the arm, thigh, stomach or butt.
“How long do I have to do this for?” was my first question?
“If it works for you, indefinitely.” He said.
“Does indefinitely mean forever?” I asked with a worried look on my face.
“Yes” he said with a smile that said sorry.
“You said if it works for you, does that mean it might not work?” I said.
“We don’t know that yet”.
I practically ran out of the doctor’s office and into the stairwell with my girlfriend close behind me. We cried in the stairwell for a while and then went right over to my parent’s house. I’d just like to say that through all of this madness I was so lucky to have my girlfriend who is now my wife and the mother of our amazing daughter beside me through it all.
The next day we both went over to Ian’s because I had band practice and I told Jon, Ben and Ian what was happening. I needed some time off from the band to deal with what was going on.
Coming to terms with the fact that I had to start giving myself needles forever was really hard. A couple of the side effects really hit me once I started the medication. I fell into a deep depression and started seeing a psychiatrist. I really felt like my life was falling apart. I had always wanted to be a drummer in a rock band but was told I should “take it easy”. I remember saying “ya right” in my head. None of my dreams had come true and I now had an incurable disease.
It was really rough for the first year and a half but the new medicine I was taking really started to work. The MS Society of Canada really helped me get all the information and tools to get my life back on track. My symptoms were gone and when they did come back they were just minor set backs. Going to work, going to rehearsal, playing shows with the band and going to countless doctors appointments was my reality.
We changed the name of the band from Pezz to Billy Talent and continued writing music. We released a four song EP and got a record deal. Unbelievable. None of us really knew what to expect in the coming months. I quit my job and started playing drums full time.
After recording our first record it was time to go on tour. My medicine needed to be refrigerated and I was about to spend a big chunk of my life driving around in a van with six grown men. I can’t believe I never had to explain why I had a mini fridge filled with needles to the authorities. We spent about 12 months driving all over North America and Europe staying in crappy motels. We would take turns sleeping on the floor of the van while the others drove to the next town. It was amazing. Our first record took us across Canada five times, America four times, Germany five times, the UK four times and a weekend in Japan. I’ve also met a lot of my musical heroes and even become friends with a couple of them. Crazy.
I guess the reason I’m telling you this is because I didn’t let something like MS get in the way of me becoming who I was suppose to become. I suppose the reason I kept it a secret for so long is because I thought it could get in the way or even help me achieve some of my goals out of pity. That’s the last thing I wanted.
Please share this story with anyone you think it would help. There are a lot of people young and old that are fighting some sort of disease and thinking that they can’t win. You really can win if you believe in yourself.
Aaron
www.mssociety.ca
www.billytalent.com
www.myspace.com/billytalent
14. May, 22:44
