What an unsuspected thing...my new found obsession the Goo Goo Dolls are number 1 on the list...wow, I am suprised...

So here it is,

another story of rambling, arguing and fighting with myself in my mind. I mean I just added all the Cds I bought this week and i have to say it scared me...it really fucking scared me because it is just too much...no offense I love music but the fear is creeping up my back that this is not a healthy thing anymore...

I mean it is like smoking or other stuff that is addictive...I just have this panic that one day i wake up and i am broke but still i have my Cds with me or so...wahhh...scary...

So long for now...

long live the quiet phobia!!!

I'm broken down
You caved my karma in
I'm staying up
Waiting for you like a fool

You made me forget
About all the dreams I kept
I keep your glass hand
By the bed we slept

I can't erase your smokey eyes
Your smothered face
Gripping on my waist
Leaving a ghost
Upon the Oregon Coast

And on the floors
Of a crashed porch

Who can pretend
That there's a beginning without an end?
It ain't contrived
All this magic in our lives
Comes down like a storm
Then drizzles then dies

Your soul is free
But you're the one I need
And you made your deal
But you're still my ideal

And so I wait
And so I choose this fate
And store your shape
In my electric bed

Who can pretend
That there's a beginning without an end?
It ain't contrived
All the magic in our lives
Comes down like a storm
Then drizzles then dies

1. Ryan Adams - Call me on your way back home
2. Escpate the Fate - The Ransom
3. UnderOath - Moving for the sake of motion
4. Funeral For A Friend - History
5. Crash Romeo - Serious
6. All Time Low - Coffee Shop Soundtrack
7. Funeral For A Friend - Drive
8. Flogging Molly - Laura
9. Brand New - Good To Know That If I Ever Need Attention All I Have To Do Is Die
10. The Flaming Lips - The W.A.N.D.

So you know that thing that every normal person has...yeah right the brain,mine is not working correct right now and i was wondering if anyone out there can tell me where i can return that piece of shit and get a new functioning one cuz the on i have is just fucked up, i can not reboot it or reset it nor can i just throw it away, it sucks...pleaze people help me...

Here is some teasing for the upcoming release of Billy Talents 2nd record,i got it yesterday and i have to say it fucking blows your ears off...what an amazing rocking piece of music...

*There used to be 2 videos down here but as some ppl did not like em (bla bla linking them bla bla) and they were annoying the hell outta myself i took em offline*

So there was this CD offer thing going on @ Mueller store.

I thought 3 for 4 is a good thing but probably only crappy cds, you know the ones no one ever wants to listen to (Sugababes and the likes of those) but as it turned out there was a wide variation of cds on the shelfs for a reasonable price of (7,99 €)...

so i got:

Funeral For A Friend - Hours: A very nice rock/punk/alternative record. Nothing special but those guys rock like hell in good old tradition (Note: Roses For The Dead - amazing stuff!)

1. All The Rage
2. Streetcar
3. Roses For The Dead
4. Hospitality
5. Drive
6. Monsters
7. History
8. Recovery
9. The End Of Nothing
10. Alvarez
11. Sonny


Seether - Karma & Effect: Seether's follow up to 2002s release Disclaimer II. This one takes the Seether sound even further with a distinctive heavey tone but a very emotion filled voice at the core of each song (Note: Truth - breakes my heart and hurts my ears everytime!)

1. Because Of Me
2. Remedy
3. Truth
4. The Gift
5. Burrito
6. Given
7. Never Leave
8. World Falls Away
9. Tongue
10. I'm The One
11. Simplest Mistake
12. Diseased
13. Plastic Man
14. Secret Song / Outro


Damien Rice - O: After i heard "The Blowers Daughter" in a movie which featured Julia Roberts,Jude Law and some other geeks i was instantly drawn to Rices music - not drawn to the movie becaus it sucked big time! But anyway Damien Rice is the american answear to David Gray but 50% less computer shit. The guitar alone and the wonderful voice whispering problems about the woman that does not understand Damien or the woman that does not love Damien or even the woman that understands and loves Damien makes this record worth a hundreds of listens. Incredible! (Note(s): The Blowers Daughter - obviously, Amie - so moving and Volcano - one of the best acoustic tracks ever)

1. Delicate
2. Volcano
3. The Blower's Daughter
4. Cannonball
5. Older Chests
6. Amie
7. Cheers Darlin'
8. Cold Water
9. I Remember
10. Eskimo


Pantera - Reinventing Hell:Best of...: On this one there is not a single track that i would not recommand. This record is of course a best of and therefore all tracks kick ass...thx to the producers for the great compilation and variation of the songs. (Note: the bonus dvd with the videos is such an amazing asset!)

Disk 1:
1. Cowboys From Hell
2. Domination
3. Mouth For War
4. Walk
5. This Love
6. Becoming
7. I'm Broken
8. 5 Minutes Alone
9. Planet Caravan
10. Drag The Waters

Disk 2 (DVD):
1. Cowboys From Hell (Video)
2. Psycho Holiday (Video)
3. Cemetary Gates (Video)
4. Mouth For War (Video)
5. This Love (Video)
6. Walk (Video)
7. 5 Minutes Alone (Video)
8. I'm Broken (Video)
9. Drag The Waters (Video)
10. Domination (Live Video)


The Hives - Tyrannosaurus Hives: The Hives kick ass. I never thought so but after listening to them i gotta say they rule. Great up tempo speedy kind a music that makes you move - if you want to only but still a great rock record and i mena Courtney Love said that the Hives are better than Nirvana...i can not agree with that but they are awesome never the less! (note: Walk Idiot Walk - as heard,as loved, still good)

1. Abra Cadaver Reinhören
2. Two-Timing Touch And Broken Bones
3. Walk Idiot Walk
4. No Pun Intended
5. A Little More For Little You
6. B Is For Brutus
7. See Through Head
8. Diabolic Scheme
9. Missing Link
10. Love In Plaster
11. Dead Quote Olympics
12. Antidote


Keane - Hopes and Fears: This one like taking a shit, so not worth it! Naww just kidding Keane sound like Coldplay before they turned 18. If you are into that kind of music they are cool if you are not they are fine. (note: Untitled 1, This is the last time)

1. Somewhere Only We Know
2. This Is The Last Time
3. Bend & Break
4. We Might As Well Be Strangers
5. Everybody's Changing
6. Your Eyes Open
7. She Has No Time
8. Can't Stop Now
9. Sunshine
10. Unititled 1
11. Bedshaped


Tracy Chapman - Tracy Chapman: This history lasting record is awesome. There are no other words to describe it. The sound and the voice together when you hear "Fast Car" makes you want to grap your girl/boy and stuffe em in a car and drive far away. If you listen to this record carefully you will see or hear what i mean...a wonderful sleepy dreaming kind of record. (Note: all 11 tracks)

1. Talkin' Bout A Revolution
2. Fast Car
3. Across The Lines
4. Behind The Wall
5. Baby Can I Hold You
6. Mountains O' Things
7. She's Got Her Ticket
8. Why?
9. For My Lover
10. If Not Now...
11. For You

REM - Out Of Time: REM have always delivered high quality stuff over decades and this 91' releas is not difference. Most of the songs or say two ( Losing My Religion and Shiny Happy People) are well known radio tunes theses days. (Note: Radio Song featuring hip hopper KRS-One)

1. Radio Song
2. Losing My Religion
3. Low
4. Near Wild Heaven
5. Endgame
6. Shiny Happy People
7. Belong
8. Half A World Away
9. Texarkana
10. Country Feedback
11. Me In Honey


50 Cent - Get Rich or Die Tryin: Yes good lord i bought a 50 Cent record but to further defend myself this record is a milestone in hip hop history. It really is because this is 50s first record which was produced without the hype and without the 14 year old wanna be gangsters in mind so it is a pure powerful hip hop record made by some one like 50 Cent used to be-a street criminal that is desperatly trying to make it big...this 50 record is pure and great not like the shit that followed this record. (Note: Wanksta,High all the time, P.I.M.P. (remix), In da club)

1. Intro
2. What Up Gangsta
3. Patiently Waiting
4. Many Men (Wish Death
5. In Da Club
6. High All The Time
7. Heat
8. If I Can't
9. Blood Hound
10. Back Down
11. P.I.M.P:
12. Like My Style
13. Poor Lil Rich
14. 21 Questions
15. Don't Push Me
16. Gotta Make It To Heaven
17. Wanksta
18. P.I.M.P. (Remix)


(Michi homie don't trip i got ya money biatch...delivering it on monday fo sho!)

Yes ohhhh yes it is...Fuzz all around...fuzzing weather,fuzzing people all around and fuzzing
Music....that is all i fuzzing need right now...still not enough you fuzz? Click the banner and head
over the home of the FUZZ.




Hail to the FUZZ!!!

False Conversation
Hidden agendum
You think we're stupid, how dare you
The rug has not been pulled
Over our eyes you fool
We can see right through

Tip-toeing villian
Eyes in the ceiling
Your false intentions have warn thin
But we've been in your room and in your closet too
We've got one on you

Lies make it better
Lies are forever
Lies to go home to
Lies you wake up to
Lies from the alter
Lies make you falter
Lies keep your mouth fed
Lies till your death bed
Lies

Inside an office, a fallen angel
A smilin boomer with snake eyes
Creates the latest trends
And i just cant pretend
Dont call me your friend

When all these
Lies make it better
Lies are forever
Lies to go home to
Lies you wake up to
Lies from the alter
Lies make you falter
Lies keep your mouth fed
Lies till your death bed

Lies they make it better
Lies they are forever
Lies to go home to
Lies you wake up to
Lies from the alter
Lies make you falter
Lies keep your mouth fed
Lies till your death bed
LIES!

Lies will come back to haunt you
Bulletproof your limosine
Lies will come back to haunt you
Hit and run, a broken dream

Lies make it better
Lies are forever
Lies to go home to
Lies to wake up to
Lies from the altar
Lies make you falter
Lies keep your mouth fed
Lies till your death bed

Lies they make it better
Lies they are forever
Lies to go home to
Lies you wake up to
Lies from the alter
Lies make you falter
Lies keep your mouth fed
Lies till your death bed

Lies

As a lot of you may know the first song on our first record is called “This Is How It Goes”. This is a song about one of Ben’s friends that has multiple sclerosis. Today I would like to let you know that I am that friend with MS.

I want to start with saying that this changes nothing about my band or me. I’m actually stronger both mentally and physically than I’ve ever been in my life.

Right now you’re probably thinking, “What is MS?” To sum it up in a short paragraph it’s a chronic, often disabling disease of the central nervous system. Symptoms range from numbness in the limbs to paralysis or loss of vision. The progress, severity, and specific symptoms of MS in any one person cannot yet be predicted. It generally strikes people between the ages of 20 to 50 but over the past 5 years its been hitting a much younger age. Children as young as three years old are being diagnosed. This is my main reason for telling my story.

It was November of 1997 and I had just started a new job at DaimlerChrysler building the new Intrepid, Concorde and 300M. I was making more money then my job at the Toronto Auto Auction and I could take off more time to play shows with my band Pezz. Days after starting my new job I got a strange numbness in my legs. I couldn’t walk for more than five minutes without having to sit down because of this pain in my legs. I honestly thought it was just because this job was a lot more physically demanding then my last job. After telling my family and close friends about it I went for some tests.

“It’s probably a pinched nerve”, or “You probably pulled something at your new job” were some of the responses I would get. After months of tests I was told that I had probable MS. This meant I probably had MS but a full diagnosis couldn’t be made until I had another symptom within two years.

In November of 1998 the numbness in my legs was gone but I could make it come back by bending my neck forward. This would also send a feeling of an electrical shock to my feet. Just a couple months later in January of 1999 I suddenly got an awful pain in my left eye. It was like being punched in the eye by a ghost and the ghost had done some serious damage. I instantly started to squint my eye shut and went straight to my eye doctor. He told me I had Optic Neuritis. When I told this to my neurologist I found out that it’s very common for people with MS and the disease was progressing. He wanted me to start a new type of medicine. I had to self inject myself three times a week in the arm, thigh, stomach or butt.
“How long do I have to do this for?” was my first question?
“If it works for you, indefinitely.” He said.
“Does indefinitely mean forever?” I asked with a worried look on my face.
“Yes” he said with a smile that said sorry.
“You said if it works for you, does that mean it might not work?” I said.
“We don’t know that yet”.

I practically ran out of the doctor’s office and into the stairwell with my girlfriend close behind me. We cried in the stairwell for a while and then went right over to my parent’s house. I’d just like to say that through all of this madness I was so lucky to have my girlfriend who is now my wife and the mother of our amazing daughter beside me through it all.

The next day we both went over to Ian’s because I had band practice and I told Jon, Ben and Ian what was happening. I needed some time off from the band to deal with what was going on.

Coming to terms with the fact that I had to start giving myself needles forever was really hard. A couple of the side effects really hit me once I started the medication. I fell into a deep depression and started seeing a psychiatrist. I really felt like my life was falling apart. I had always wanted to be a drummer in a rock band but was told I should “take it easy”. I remember saying “ya right” in my head. None of my dreams had come true and I now had an incurable disease.

It was really rough for the first year and a half but the new medicine I was taking really started to work. The MS Society of Canada really helped me get all the information and tools to get my life back on track. My symptoms were gone and when they did come back they were just minor set backs. Going to work, going to rehearsal, playing shows with the band and going to countless doctors appointments was my reality.

We changed the name of the band from Pezz to Billy Talent and continued writing music. We released a four song EP and got a record deal. Unbelievable. None of us really knew what to expect in the coming months. I quit my job and started playing drums full time.

After recording our first record it was time to go on tour. My medicine needed to be refrigerated and I was about to spend a big chunk of my life driving around in a van with six grown men. I can’t believe I never had to explain why I had a mini fridge filled with needles to the authorities. We spent about 12 months driving all over North America and Europe staying in crappy motels. We would take turns sleeping on the floor of the van while the others drove to the next town. It was amazing. Our first record took us across Canada five times, America four times, Germany five times, the UK four times and a weekend in Japan. I’ve also met a lot of my musical heroes and even become friends with a couple of them. Crazy.

I guess the reason I’m telling you this is because I didn’t let something like MS get in the way of me becoming who I was suppose to become. I suppose the reason I kept it a secret for so long is because I thought it could get in the way or even help me achieve some of my goals out of pity. That’s the last thing I wanted.

Please share this story with anyone you think it would help. There are a lot of people young and old that are fighting some sort of disease and thinking that they can’t win. You really can win if you believe in yourself.

Aaron

www.mssociety.ca

www.billytalent.com
www.myspace.com/billytalent