My head feels so heavy,
I am not sure why,
I am not sure,

All I know is that living breaks me
While i should be breakin into living,

I should be happy for what I got,
I should be happy for who I am,
I should be happy

I should forgive,
Forgive them,
Forgive myself,
Forgive

But when all is said
And all is done,
I realize what I've become...

(Klagenfurt, 14th May,)

That there, that's not me
I go where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey

I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here

In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah, it's gone

I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes

I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here, I'm not here....

I never sleep
I been awake for what feels like a year
cause when I dream
My mind puts a face
To each one of my fears
Im exhausted by my imagination
I close my eyes
But I could still see the pain on your face
Its your disguise
You put your heart and soul on a plate
Im exhausted by my imagination
The walls are bleeding cause Im hallucinating
Beneath the wheel I cannot slow its rotation down

I got to get away from here
But theres nowhere I can go
Everyone I recognize looks at me like I am lost
Walking down these dire streets
I thought I heard you call my name
But its only in my head
Or maybe it was just your ghost

Up in the sky
The clouds are dirty so soon it will rain
I lost my mind
After you told me that you went insane

Im a victim of my imagination
These walls are talking but Im hallucinating
Beneath the wheel that will not slow its rotation down
Down
Down in my head

I got to get away from here
But theres nowhere I can go
Everyone I recognize
Looks at me like Im a ghost
Walking down these dying streets
I thought I heard you call my name
But it was only in my mind

Your body may be gone, I'm gonna carry you in.
In my head, in my heart, in my soul.
And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both live again.
Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Don't think so.

Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Collected my belongings and I left the jail.
Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell.
I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile....

Ich hasse mich...

We played live...

for the first time...

last night...

it was amazing and i would have to lie if I would say i enjoyed it all the way...

but in the end I did...

(you tube videos can be found at http://jtr.twoday.net/)

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet

Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh and scream we make
All the feelings that I get
But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven’t missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

Only when I stop to think
About you, I know
Only when you stop to think
About me, do you know

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you
You hate everything about me
Why do you love me

I hate
You hate
I hate
You love me

I hate everything about you
Why do I love you

I finally got my Anti-Flag record...and with it i got a bad look from the lady at the counter, cuz of the whit house and the graves and all...ohhh my god, i am a terrorist was what her look said..

naww anyways, I am trying to read that damn Edgar Hilsenrath book...again, could not do it the first time, maybe second try is a charm or so...

fuck, am I talking shit or what...yes i do

I got a nice big monitor now by the way, talking shit big kinda i suppose...