My head is so filled with stuff that I do not want to think about that I think it might explode sometime soon...

The bad part is that I have troubles finding someone that I can talk about it, I mean that information is just stuck in my god damn body and it will not go anyhwere, it can not go anywhere cuz as I said...who am I gonna talk with?

So if someone reads this and things man Renés postings and their value have gone down latley...you are right that is how it is, no clear thoughts latley, no saracasm just bad jokes.

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh is all i can think about...

(so just don't save me and I'll be fine...)

That is how it is, I am not sleeping anymore nor am I eating which is strange cuz it kind of is my favourite part time activity.

Seems to be something common that shows up in my bright nature more often than not latley cuz everytime shit gets fucked up i tend to fuck up my life in every aspect, life in general, eating, working or sleeping and the list goes on and on...

So it is now past 1 in the morning, i got university tomorrow which is fucked up cuz i am not feeling like i wanna go there and basically i am feeling so much rage and hate and love and all that contradicting kind of feelings that i wanna puke so...am i going nuts, hell yeah i am.

*So do you think that we could work out a sign, so I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try...*

I can't let you be, cause your beauty won't allow me
wrapped in white sheets,
like an angel from a bedtime story
and shut out what they say,
cause your friends are fucked up anyway
and when they come around,
somehow they feel up and you feel down.

When we were kids, we hated things our parents did
we listened low to Casey Kasem's radio show
that's when friends were nice,
to think of them just makes you feel nice
the smell of grass in spring
and October leaves cover everything.

Have you forgotten how to love yourself?

I can't believe all the good things that you do for me
sat back in a chair like a princess from a faraway place
nobody's nice, when you're older your heart turns to ice
and shut out what they say;
they're too dumb to mean it anyway

When we were kids, we hated things our sisters did
backyard summer pools and Christmases were beautiful
and the sentiment of coloured mirrored ornaments
and the open drapes
look out on frozen farmhouse landscapes

Have you forgotten how to love yourself?




*sorry to post lyrics again but if a song fits my mood that much as i listen to it i just have to let everyone know bout it, just like in this case...the song is from "Songs For A Blue Guitar" by the Red House Painters*

I went to get my mail and a little package by RedEye was in there. I opened the thing up just to find out that the people over there have brains. The package contained the ordered CD - Ghosts of the great highway (re-issue) and the same cover of that very Cd, signed by Mark Kozelek...

- - ->click for bigger image

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
Well, it'll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands

I know you're coming in the night like a thief
But I've had some time, O Lord, to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust
But I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up

So do you think that we could work out a sign
So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try

I know you're coming for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
And we turn out hate in factories
We all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

(from Brand New's The Devil and God are raging inside me)

I just ordered my copy through Caldo Verde Records/Red Eye USA...

and guess what, the first 500 people to preorder will get a signed copy, and guess what I got No. 148 so I am gonna get a signed Sun Kil Moon CD...

I am so psyched right now, wohhoooooooooooooooo!!!

I brought you peace,
within your broken heart,
our destiny
was over before the start,
this is the end,
this story is over,
for my heart,
my funeral keeps both of us apart,
Wasted time
from the start
My beliefs are gone
and so is my heart
so is my heart
so is my heart
my believes are gone and broken is my heart


I know i wrote that song about 3 weeks ago but at the moment listening to it, man it cuts like a fucking knife...so basically I am not feeling good right now and I just wish that things could be right...

You all know how life is.

It is a hard way to fall and everybody falls down...
If it is not today it will be another day and if you take it for example day by day you will find out that you fall down all the time. It just depends on what kind of bump you recieve. In my case the bumps seem to come on a constant basis and nothing is going right today and nothing ever does...

My hands are cold and shaky and I feel like I am a 80 year old not able of doing a lot, not able of walking or talking properly. I feel like everything just came down on me like just falling down on my like rain but the rain drops are heavyweights and just keep punching me down and into the ground...

Will it ever stop, I guess not, is it a bad thing, i suppose it is normal but on some days you just seem to feel those heavy drops and on others they just feel like they are just rain.

Minor Majority - Reasons to hang around

Why? Listen...




*sorry I am a lazy fool latley but just not in the mood communicate a lot*